Looking For That Balance

I've always been that person to want the fairytale ending to everything. After having a baby, I was still trying to be that way. Now, I can say that I am okay with the idea of finding a peaceful middle.

I love my life the way it is now...Although, I can't say I did when I first had the baby. It was hard. I felt alone even though I have a good family and husband. Now, I have settled in my new routine and have managed to cope with my new responsibilities. After talking to a friend who's going through a separation and knowing of a lady who is really having a hard time coping with feeling overwhelmed with all she has to do has got me thinking that there are a lot of people out there just like me. I have had my moments and still do at times, when I think why can't my husband help out more, why isn't he home more. But the truth of the matter is, I am the one on maternity leave...I wanted to be on leave a year to be with my baby. Doesn't that mean doing the majority of baby work? I've always been the one to cook meals and do most of the cleaning before the baby so, this is something that hasn't changed after the arrival of Baby #1.

Here's a list of the things I do on my own: Cook, laundry, dust, bottle and food preparation

Here's a list of things my hubby does on his own: Cars, home improvement and fix ups, vacuum, garbage, drives where ever we need to go

Here's a list of the things we do together: Diaper change, bathing baby, grocery shopping

Overall, I think he's pulling his weight and supporting me. There are rough times and sometimes it's me doing some of his things, but it's not all the time. I guess my friend was right in saying that maybe we do need to sacrifice some of our needs and like my dad says, put up with each other for a marriage to work. My friend admits that she hasn't given anything up for her husband and for their marriage and that's perhaps the reason why things went wrong.

I guess no one's marriage is perfect and if you throw a baby in the mix of things, you're bound to have some rocky days, weeks...And months. But, this is normal and I think that anyone who says, it's not has got bigger problems in their marriage and relationship.

I think being a SAHM/SAHD makes things harder. I think the partner begins to expect that things around the house and baby just be done by the one person who isn't working. As much as I wanted to be a SAHM before I had a baby, now that I see what happens to them in terms of expectations and emotions, I'm kind of glad that I am going back to work. It gives me some time away from the house, baby and husband to go out and enjoy something that is my passion. Only to come home to a lovely house, baby and husband. It also puts ownership on my husband to own up and be a mutual helper in household chores and child rearing. Again, it's all about balance.