Is Motherhood All It's Cut Out To Be?

I'm following another mommy blog and the issue of having dad help out more around the house and with the baby has got me thinking and reflecting on my own situation. Does my hubby help out with baby duties as much as I think he should? No. Am I bitter and angry about it? No. Does it bother me? No. Why is this the case?!

I knew that the moment I had a baby my life would change. I would become even busier than ever. I am a very tidy, organized, goal oriented person (Blue-Gold personality) who hates change...How could it be that the biggest change in my life isn't causing me to be down right miserable with my life and running out to get divorce papers? I do wish my husband can help out more, but sometimes it's just easier to do things myself. I can't possibly complain about my hubby not helping if this is my attitude. However, there are a few things that my hubby does that I think he can do himself without my help and therefore alleviating my stress.

Here’s an example. When my hubby helps with the diaper he often says “can you get the wipes”, “can you put her clothes back on while I go wash my hands?” It’s like, come on…I might as well do it myself! I don’t know the last time I got all that help when I had to change my baby’s diaper. Now, I just put all the diapering stuff close to the play place so he can grab it without asking me for help.

Example two: Whomever said that bottle feeding will make it easier on moms because now the dads can help out with the feeding process was WRONG! On a good day, my hubby will give one out of four bottles to the baby. I make all the bottles the night before and keep them in the fridge. Now that my baby is eating solids, I am also making purees for her and freezing them. Hubby has yet to feed her any solids. As for the bottle and food prep. I don’t mind doing it since there is a lot of measuring that goes with it and it’s just too hard for me to explain it to him.

Example three: Bath time. Well, this used to be daddy’s job all the time. Now, I’d say he does it half the time. Partly because he’s at work and can’t be home in time to give her a bath. This is one task where I don’t need to help him at all. My hubby loves to give our baby a bath and does a great job! But I’m the one to cut her nails, do the lotion massage and get her dressed after wards.

There’s a heck of a lot more examples, but I’ll spare you the details. I guess what I am trying to say is, sometimes we enable our husbands to act the way they do by not telling them something is wrong and that we need more of their help. Easier said than done though because I’m not one to ask for help. But, how are they supposed to know we need help if we don’t ask for it? Some husbands are really in tune with their wife’s needs, but this isn’t my case at all. I’m learning to be honest by saying, “Hun, it was a horrible day. I need your help.” I’m so lucky to have a husband who doesn’t ignore my pleas for help and pitches in the best he can. We appreciate what we do for each other and for the baby. I think this is most important in our relationship.

It’s no surprise that we do so much on a daily basis because we are at home with our babies most of the time and we love doing it I’m sure SAHDs would say the same thing. So, in the words of a close friend of mine, “don’t sweat the small stuff” and “work smarter, not harder”.

P.S. Happy Valentine’s Day!